Thursday, October 28, 2010

Tuesday 1:15pm

Tuesday 1:15pm. That means Maile Helen needs to be in her car seat, Diana too. We need three diapers, two blankets, two books, a full book bag, diaper wipes, socks, and shoes. The stroller is already in the car. What about the baby bjorn? It's already there.

"Emily? What else do we need?" A common, sometimes useful, often lazy/annoying question.

"I'm getting a bottle of juice." The lids are never quite handy, and she is already burdened with a bag too big for a human with straps too small for a shoulder that requires an all-precious elbow to keep it from falling.

Diana: "I want to feed the baby! I want the bottle." This used to be nap time. Hopefully, she'll just sleep in the car a little. But she's starting to melt.

"My bottle! I want the baby bottle!" Apparently, we didn't get it the first time, so she adds decibels.

Emily responds, "Not now Diana. We're going to the zoo!" The zoo is a big selling point. It may work.

"No! No! I want the BABY BOTTLE!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!" She's melting. Rationality is just about gone. Tears flow.

Emily gives up. "Diana, we have to go to school now." She takes Maile to the car.

"Nooo! NO school! Baby bottle!!!" She's melted, on the floor.

I say,"Diana," she says, "Baby Bottle."

I say, "You want the baby bottle."

She responds, "No! I want the bottle!" Whining. Yelling. Crying.

I keep at it. "The bottle. You want the bottle." Diana pauses for a moment. Just a moment. That's the sign that she heard it.

"I want to bottle," she explains through tears.

"You want the bottle," I understand at eye level.

"I want the bottle," her voice cracks.

"You want to feed Maile."

"Yes."

"You want the bottle to feed Maile."

It's a different cry. Less angry. More sad.

"Can I help you?" I'm almost excited, but not too cheerleader. "I want to help you get the bottle, so you can feed Maile. Can I help you?"

"... yes ..." (with tears)

"First, car. Second, zoo. Third, bottle." (I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm the map. I'm the map! Can you sing it?)

"Where next Boots?" We've switched to some helpful Dora the Explorer scripting.

"The car."

She responds, "okay." And without fuss, she climbs into her car seat and lets me buckle her in.

Within the last few weeks/months we have seen a huge difference in Diana's ability to delay gratification; to wait for a prize in the future, and to see the steps required to get there. This particular interaction blew me away. I think about how difficult it is for me to put aside something I desperately want. Diana was consoled with a plan that wouldn't give her what she wanted for over half an hour. And the first step in the plan was get in the car, which is something she struggles with. We're proud of our Super Girl.

2 comments:

PatrickandErica said...

It's amazing how long they will patiently wait for something they want at that age huh?
Totally dejavu reading this, as usual!

Hoggards said...

The joys! Keep at it...but honestly I can't say that stuff like that ever really goes away! I give you guys an A+ for patience!